Just another day..

Finally! Finally..I take the most rigorous pains to reach out to my laptop and type in the thoughts! I have been meaning to do this since a long long time, believe me, Laziness is such a creeper. There’s one day when you feel like resting and relaxing more than the usual days, and there it peeps in through the window, sneaks to all the places around and builds an empire of Laziness. And I (hate to admit this!) was the reigning queen of this empire for the last couple of weeks!

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But, here I am breaking those webs of the realm called Lethargy and doing the next best thing-’Writing!!’ Yay!!

I feel like holding this invisible Oscar in my hands and shouting out loud to the world that –I did it! To be frank, I never thought this day would come. Well, certainly not so soon. What was heartbreaking is the date of my last blog entry..BOOM! And I went in to the flashback looking at the fitter and happier ‘ME’ and promising myself of blogging at least once a week!! (Yeah… dedicating yourself to a series of back to back movies does has its own side-effects) Anyway, what’s important is that this made me realize what exactly I need to remember when I am helplessly indolent again.

Something tells me that this was required, the feeling of doing whatever I want to (READ: Lying on the couch. ..Forever!! ) isn’t always the best thing to do! It is fun for the first few days, but slowly you start realizing the need to get yourself going. May be what you really wanted to do wasn’t this ever.

So here is something on record (so that I cannot deny this after I post it)—

‘I will not be confined to my couch for more than 2 hours at a stretch. I pledge to be fitter and more active in the days to come!!’

Phew, DID IT, MOM!! :p

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A leaf from the Nomad’s Tree…

ImageIt’s the genes may be, but there is no other possible and believable explanation which I can offer to me being the Nomad. My definition of a Drifter or Nomad is one who is always in search of something new-The Explorer!  Curiosity forms the basis of this I feel. The thirst, of knowing more than I already know makes me travel and explore.

Of course I wasn’t born with the feeling of restlessness but owing to situations or will it has now become a habit. Knowing that this moment, this place is not going to last forever is reassuring! I know, this might sound absurd to many of you, but I like to start afresh from time to time, and no better way than by changing my habitat! It’s not an easy task to do, especially because as you start growing, one needs comforting surrounding & familiar faces around oneself.

As I jump places, homes and cities I realize the only thing I leave behind is the feel. The feeling of abandonment, which is felt by the house I lived in. Soon it vanishes because there is a new town, new home and a new lot awaiting me! It strikes me though, whether a sense of betrayal lingers around the place I once occupied. May be there is, after all it is difficult to be but a loyal!

Change is the only constant in a drifter’s life and he loves it that way for he believes- Change can be welcoming if one really welcomes it!!

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Joining the DOTS..

I am always amazed after I finish a book of Agatha Christie..Surprised how she gets the readers every time. Being an ardent fan of her writing, before taking up any mystery of hers, I challenge myself, maybe…maybe this time I would figure it out before hand (at least a bit earlier than in the last couple of chapters) as to who the murderer is; but I fail to find that out and my inner Sherlock dies a silent death!!

The fact that I specialize in Murder mystery reading (I know, FANCY!! ) makes me wonder as to how these novelists or writers keep the track of their plot. This is where ‘’assembling the pieces of the puzzle” comes into picture. Even if the mystery looks complicated but it is explained with such ease to the readers that it’s still fun to read. I mean, I cannot reckon myself stressing over not figuring out exactly ‘How did the murder happen?!’

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Joining the dots is a tough job especially when you are creating something yourself. Isn’t it often said that ‘To be a good liar, you need to have a sharp memory’! Imagine making something up and not remembering later unerringly what was said to whom, and eventually finding yourself in a fix. That would be nightmarish!

Coming back to Agatha Christie, it must have been 4 odd years since I read her famous plot ‘And then there were none’. Whoa! That was one thing which bowled me over. The way in which she connected the dots in that mystery! In the middle of the book, I realized what a mess this can create at the end, as she was handling backup stories of 10 people at the same time, but she surely mastered the art of joining dots. I needn’t had to reread the climax to get my facts straight, understood it right in the first go. AMAZING!

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This is fascinating to me, mainly because I struggle with assembling pieces together, I sucked at it since I was a kid, hated those puzzle games!  On a serious note, I genuinely wish that one day I am adroit in the art of JOINING the DOTS just right to ensure the proportioned picture I intend to draw has come out precisely the way I wanted it to be.

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Oh! That is commendable! :p

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I am slowly changing my reaction to this, trust me, sucking at taking compliments is a nightmare! I don’t know exactly when I started giving this importance, but it seems to me that the sooner it struck me the better!

I personally find it very easy and natural to eulogize, it’s something I seldom think about. Small observations like a friend with a new bag, or someone who has achieved something awesome, it’s never difficult for me to mould my feelings into words as a deliberate action. It just happens, with the flow of my thoughts! I wish I possessed the same mechanism while taking compliments too.

I truly believe that it’s an art, taking praises. It requires just the perfect balance of elegance and modesty. The person complimenting you shouldn’t feel ignored, or to the contrary, sorry for flattering you.

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The fact that I am making a big deal out of it is because my encounters with compliments usually turn rather embarrassing for me. If, god forbid, someone catches me off guard (read: ALWAYS!) and admires me saying, ‘Oh you look nice today!’ I become tongue tied or probably blurt out a lame reaction like-‘Oh shut up! You look amazing!’ or probably would not even acknowledge the statement and start discussing a totally unrelated topic. The sad part is I realize my stupidity moments after this, but cannot do anything about it!

How difficult is it to say a simple and gracious ‘Thank YOU!’ no, it’s not difficult at all, but somehow they become the hardest words to say at that critical moment.

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I know, for many of you, it is pretty easy to take praises and I have the utmost admiration for you and your capability (YES, it is WOW). But at the same time, I’m sure I can find a lot of people having a fear similar to mine-TAKING COMPLIMENTS!

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Solitary Retreat!

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I truly believe that one must spend time alone, at least some time alone in a day. How difficult can it be? Call it contemplation, or just a retreat from your schedule. It rejuvenates you, you start thinking more clearly.

Being home alone gives a lot of time to me for my ‘Solitary Retreats’. There is a funny observation I have made, when I am alone in the house, I somehow never feel the urge of constant TV-watching or chatting. Being someone around telling me to switch these things off make me do them more. Now that I have got an unavoidable situation of seeking this solitary retreat, I suddenly realize that 24 hours are actually enough for a person to spend his day fruitfully.

Oh isn’t this our constant complaint to God? ‘Why…Why couldn’t you just add a few more hours to the standard day? ‘That’s because we are so busy, too busy to even stop and think for a minute as to where we are headed to in life. I think one should, from time to time hear the echo of his life. Reaction is the best feedback, it the best analysis you can get and the most genuine too.

I listen more when I am spending time with myself. All of us are bounded by our egos, and this makes ‘YOU’ the most important person in YOUR life. So, it’s likely that you would give more thoughts to your own thought. Not only this, the mind plays the past events in a rewind mode. Which then moves to – Something I shouldn’t have said or something I should have. Guilt, anxiety, happiness, and anger-all the emotions appear with a better clarity. The best part about this is, since you cannot lie to yourself, these feeling come out naturally and with well acceptance of your will.

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I enjoy taking these retreats in the woods of reminiscence…Do you?

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Long (but not lost) Friendships!

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Today, I was in for a pleasant surprise as my mobile ringtone was the first sound my conscious mind heard in the morning. It was an Unknown number flashing on the screen and being barely awake I did not take the pain of probing it in my memory.  As I picked up the call, a friendly voice spoke and revealed its identity. Firstly, I was extremely glad to get a birthday wish in the most enthusiastic way ( 2 days after my actual birthday!) But, I was happy of the fact that this friend ,even though irresolute of the exact date still called me up and REMEMBERED!

It must have been 2 odd years since I talked to her. Shifting our respective abodes, changing numbers and shuffling priorities, sometimes, drifts two people away. It is a very usual thing to happen. Anyway, what surprised me was that there was no awkwardness or not even a moment of silence in our conversation. The call went on for nearly an hour. It was as though we were catching up the past couple of years of our lives.

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Isn’t it strange? There are these people on one hand, with whom we are so comfortable that even though we haven’t exchanged messages or pleasantries for years, when we come in touch, you just hit it off! While there are the other types, with whom you spend hours and days together, but still struggle for topics to sustain your conversation with them!

Talk about Wavelengths..When I was younger, (and stupid) I didn’t give this a thought. It was plain and simple for me. I either am in touch with someone and great friends or neither! But through the life’s experiences of meeting new people, changing work as well as personal space, I realized that friendship is not really defined with the time two people spend together talking or meeting. On the contrary, it is about the understanding that develops between two people irrespective of the time spent!

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This refreshing morning made me contemplate of the Friendships which go back a long way but aren’t lost at all!!! Reminds me of the classic- “I’ll be there for you…Cause you’ll be there for me too!!!”

 

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The path leading to the past… And MOVING ON!

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I love to tread that path from time to time which takes me back. Of course, I am always forward looking, but I guess it’s inevitable to take a sneak peak at the road which lead to the today ME! I am one of those who believe in this theory- ‘Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened!’  Not all the memories are worth remembering but one cannot deny that every event of the past has made a contribution to your present!

I feel irritated of the fact that so many things change in the course of our life. It’s like the mandatory requirement to growing up. I miss being able to run my way to the swings in the garden, to laugh out loud over the most minuscule happening. I miss that time when I used to dance like nobody is watching. Oh… I have more things to be pleased of my past than to be sorry about it! Or I am adept enough to conveniently ignore the sad parts of my memory!

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According to me, regret is the worst emotion a person can feel because it doesn’t lead you anywhere. I prefer talking things out and get done with them…Move On! That may be partially because of my impatient nature, but I guess that is the best thing to do. Most of the fights or disputes would end if a person thinks that the other is sorry about it and not really expect the other to say so!

I would be lying if I say that I forgive and forget easily. In the spur of the moment, temper takes it course. But yes, when I cool down I forget. And with time, I even forgive. Trust me- letting go is much easier than clinging on. ‘It gives you additional memory space’ :p 

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Right time..Does it come?

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I desire there should be these natural reminders in our mind to notify us when is the right time. Is it now or much later? The fact that a human should come to a decision on the basis of his judgment or inference seems unfruitful to me because most of us lack such ‘Intuition’!

A new thing about to happen, but doesn’t take place. Simple explanation given is –‘May be the time was not right.’  I say simple as this reaction is just so spontaneous that most people don’t think much before saying it. It is one of those statements where the other person cannot even retaliate. Destiny or Time are beyond one’s command. But was the non- happening of this event really time driven??

I must agree that as much as we have time-fearing people around, we also have the lot which challenges this logic. The ones who decide their own time and are confident that when they feel so, the time is right! It is true that in spite of our close people convincing us to not to do a particular thing, we do it. What makes us do it? Yes…’INTUITION’. Something in our heart says ‘Its right…Do it’.

So is the wait worth for the ‘RIGHT TIME’ or you just follow your heart and conscience to make your life decisions? 

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Coming back to it..YET AGAIN!

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It has become a habit; something my mind does even in the subconscious state. There are certain things I keep coming back to time and again. That doesn’t seem weird to me ever, because it’s well established by me that it is going to ensue this way. Things like, reading the Harry potter series again, Watching THE PROPOSAL, uploading the same picture as my Display image on the networking sites for the umpteenth time. Now that I list them down, it seems strange!

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I don’t think or decide to do these things. They just happen after a time period. It’s like a natural cycle in my mind. After the requisite number of days, I gradually come back to them…AGAIN! It’s the same excitement, happiness and satisfaction on completing these small things when I first did them.

I think the explanation for such ‘comebacks’ can be remembrance. These moments of my past that I never wish to forget; COME WHAT MAY. May be, I keep coming back to the 12 year old ME who was so excited to first time experience the Magical and Mystical world of ‘Harry potter’ or the 20 year old who had the supreme delight while watching Andrew confess his love to Margaret in the PROPOSAL.

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Yes, that fits in the most because, it’s true, that ‘time and tide waits for none’, but possibly this is my attempt to make it wait…Just for those little but precious moments!

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In the Middle of Nowhere…

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This morning was an early one.(Earlier than my previous mornings, I meant) With more of time in hand, comes more of day dreaming. As I was using up my today’s quota of day dreaming, my eyes were distracted because of a book. A book , I had been meaning to read since a long time, but some or the other thing came up and the result- It’s there on the shelf and starting to accumulate puffs of dust.

What caught my attention was the title which had intrigued me to make it read it –‘Such a long journey’. It interested me even now, and all my attempts to stop my mind wandering came to a halt. What if we treat all the happenings in our life as ‘Long Journeys’?

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There are times when there is utter chaos in our lives, when you have 10 things to do but you are in a dilemma which one to start first. Being inherently impatient, we want things to happen within a certain time frame. If things go as per our ‘SCHEDULE’, ‘Life’s good’. I think so too, most of us think this way. And what is the problem, NOTHING. Its good to have a deadline, end date. But then, not every time does the thing end within the time you want it to or as you want it to.

Anything which I attempt, I expect to reach somewhere. It starts, with the struggle, then the growth, stability and then maturity. What we fail to understand is the time span of these pit stops may differ..In fact, they do differ, person to person and most importantly they vary from situation to situation. In the beginning there is always turmoil, a lot of new things, new people, and new approach. But it slowly starts becoming familiar to us. Who once was a stranger becomes a friend, what once was a new job becomes a routine. These things take time, of course. Being comfortable is a state of mind; which can be quickly achieved by one while someone else may take eternity to be comfortable.

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If you make a small child go to a new school, he will resist, yes. Naturally, as he has gotten used to the school, teachers, friends, everything. But slowly, he would start becoming comfortable in the new place also. I know what you are thinking. Not everything is as simple as ‘Shifting to a new school’. Agreed. But it’s still a journey. A long one.Slowly but definitely, somewhere down the line, at the middle or towards the end, you will find yourself again. 

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